Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Honeymoon No Sex Treatment

Connect with Sexologist Dr. Ashok Koparday
Google plus + || Linkedin|| Facebook || Twitter || YouTube ||

Question

Question by venusforloveandbeauty

no sex on honeymoon

Here is the problem,
I've been with my husband for almost 5 years now and we recently married.
We had a long distance relationship (Dallas, USA to Oxford, UK)for the first 4 years and we just got married 1 month ago.
Ever since we have announced our engagement and, it seems my fiance and now husband's sexual desire for me has gone out the window. I was hoping for a very romantic wedding night, but even that seemed forced. We took a very brief honeymoon, and I got very upset because we did not have sex.
I now concerned because 'SEX' has now because this very big and akward issue. I don't know what to do.
i don't know how to bring it up to him, although the conversations we've had, he says that I just have a higher sex drive than him and that he's never really been a sexual person.
But I just have trouble believing that.

Penis not inserted in Vagina

Sex Treatment: How to insert penis in vagina?

Treatment of No Sex during Honeymoon

Hi,


I recently had couple for therapy with similar problem.
After 4 years of online romance she got married to him.
Her husband avoided sexual intercourse for over 3 years.
He kept hoodwinking the girl until she left him and returned to her parents place.
Then he agreed to come for therapy.


What is the problem? Why does he keep avoiding sex?

The most common cause, especially not being able to do sex during honeymoon, is husband's perceived sexual inadequacy and fear of failure.
The other rare, but important causes are given at the end.
What women wrongly believe to be the most possible causes, but are surely not, are given towards the end.


Unless he has sexual desire and confidence about his sexual ability no man in this world will dare step on the marriage altar.


Why, we newlywed, loving couple, did not have sex after marriage?

In a sentence, the reason is your husband's perceived inability to do sexual intercourse.
Due to his feeling of sexual inadequacy, he feared he won't get erection at the moment when required, he may disappoint the most loved and adored person in the world. This would make him ashamed to death.


If he loves me why didn't he go to a doctor and get treated?
It is inconceivable, but true. Men do avoid meeting a doctor. Exposure of one's sexual inadequacy, the idea of admitting, "I am impotent", badly hurts the very core of his manliness. He chooses to run away. He chooses to go into denial. A gut feeling almost instinctively makes him avoid hurting his ego. Hence, he shirks away from getting professional help.


Women won't be able to imagine how immensely sensitive men are about their sexual capability and vulnerability.


During sexual intimacy sexually capable men (normal men) are unimaginably proud about their erection. However, any man on this planet even if he merely thinks he has sexual dysfunction gets shattered and can't face the ordeal of sexual intercourse.


Typical Pattern: Sexual Behavior

Typically he does have romantic and sexual desires "_ _ _ it seemed he very much wanted me and prodded me and wanted to turn ME on to having sex. _ _ _ ." After marriage, as in your case, when actual sexual activity is expected he lost confidence due to (usually imaginary) sexual inability. He then avoids sexual intimacy. He makes excuses and may even start blaming.
" _ _ _ he says that I just have a higher sex drive than him and that he's never really been a sexual person. But I just have trouble believing that. _ _ _ _"


Woman asks, "What can I do?"
"_ _ _ Is there anything subtle I can do? _ _ _"


Wife's role in getting him to a Sex Therapist is extremely difficult. She has to be 'subtle' as you correctly said so that he does not feel offended. Her nagging and begging to visit Sex Therapist and to get treated falls on deaf ears. She becomes restless, agitated and loses patience after some time because he keeps procrastinating. "I don't understand why he does not take medical help?"


Typical Pattern: Love

You will find that the husband is a gem. He is very loving and caring. Except for this one sexual issue, you may say he is the best guy in the world. (Compensatory mechanism) “_ _ _ He loves cuddling and otherwise is a fantastic husband. I love him very much._ _ “


What needs to be done?

He should get medical treatment for his sexual problem. The treatment outcome is fantastic in the hands of an experienced Sex Therapist.
Two loving souls are able to unite in sexual bliss.


What most certainly are not the causes of a man's refraining from sex?

  • 1. She is unattractive "_ _ _ my husband doesn't 'like' me _ _ _ "
  • 2. He has an affair "_ _ _ paranoid that perhaps he is cheating on me and that is why he doesn't like me sexually. _ _ _"
  • 3. Work pressures. This is not the cause. This is his escape. He becomes workaholic so that he can avoid sexual confrontation. " _ _ _ We took a very brief honeymoon _ __"
"I am unattractive" "he has an affair" "work pressure" are not the causes.


What are the other possible causes of husband avoiding sex?

You have to diligently exclude these three possibilities when husband refrains from sexual intercourse.
  • 1. He is a cheat.
  • 2. He is gay or bisexual
  • 3. He has unwillingly married due to pressure from family members
Best,


Ashok Koparday


Sex Therapist Marriage Counselor


Happiness doctor
Source:
http://www.hisandherhealth.com/sexual-health-forums/1-Womens-Sexual-Health/14513-no-sex-on-honeymoon

No comments:

Post a Comment

Your privacy is assured 100%